When the Stars Burn Out
by MoonytheMarauder1
Summary: Remus Lupin's mission failed. He has to find his son—but he finds something else along the way. Assassin/Royalty!AU Warnings for violence, character death, language, and angst Wolfstar


**A/N: Hey y'all! This was written for Hogwarts… and also something that I've wanted to write for a while, so we'll see how it goes.**

 **Word Count: 10288**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those rights go to JK Rowling.**

 **Please Note: This is an Assassin!AU, and kinda a Royalty!AU**

 **WARNINGS: Some angst… mentions of murder, language, and kinda sorta Stockholm Syndrome? Oh, and character death.**

 **Enjoy!**

The job was supposed to be simple. All he had to do was sneak into enemy territory, silence someone, and slip back out. Easy enough; he'd done similar things before. The problem was, his client hadn't told him that this was _family_ business. He'd always stayed away from those jobs—they were always messy. He should have known better. The kingdoms of Gryffindor and Slytherin had been at war for years because of a family spat, but he'd been getting desperate.

Teddy was getting thinner.

Remus swallowed down the bile that rose to his throat when he thought about his four-year-old son. He'd seen so much death over the years—had caused much of it—but the thought of those cold fingers closing in around his boy scared him like nothing else could.

Remus Lupin ran his hands through his greying brown hair, trying to stop them from trembling. He had to get back to his son. Teddy couldn't stay at his friend's house forever—and what would he think if his father never came home?

From despair more than frustration, Remus kicked the steel door in front of him. His cell was a small one, with no furniture and no windows. He'd never been caught before, so he didn't know the first thing about escaping—but somehow, he had to.

"Damn you, Potter," Remus growled. "Damn you, Black!"

"Well, I agree with that last one, but I have to protest the first."

Remus' head snapped up, startled by the voice. It was dark in the cell, but he could see where a small portion of the door had slid back, like a sort of window. Two grey eyes were peering back at him.

Remus glared up at his unwelcome visitor, refusing to show any sign of upset. "And why should your protests matter to me?"

The man—for the voice was too deep to be a woman's—tilted his head to the side. "Well, I _am_ the man you tried to kill. Sirius Black. I'm pretty grateful for the Potters' intervention. And you should be glad, too—they're not the type to kill. And I insisted you weren't, just in case."

Remus frowned. "You're the man Queen Walburga hired me for? She didn't tell me you were her son."

There was a jingling, and then the door swung open, to Remus' surprise. "Really, mate, you should do your research."

Warily, Remus took in the other man. Long black hair, broad shoulders, and a strong jaw—Remus was immediately put on guard. Men who looked like that were bad news.

"You look like hell, mate."

Remus narrowed his eyes. He didn't know why this aristocrat had opened the door for him, or why he was acting so friendly. Most men, Remus thought wryly, were a bit more hostile towards the people who'd made an attempt on their life.

"Not all of us can afford silk, Black."

Sirius Black tutted softly. "Shame, that. Bet you'd look great in it."

Remus bristled. The last person to speak to him that way was dead—and not by his hand. He didn't want any reminder of his late wife, whether from the exiled prince or not. "Why are you here?"

Sirius shrugged, looking completely at ease. Remus felt unreasonably angry. He wasn't the sort of person who people felt safe around, and Sirius' calm made him feel like he should expect something terrible to happen.

Sirius shrugged easily, and Remus hated him just a little bit more. "I just wanted to let you know that the horse you arrived on was sent back to Slytherin, with a note that you won't be returning. I bet my mother will love that. You'll be staying here, with us. In fact, we'll be keeping your weapons, your armor, and, I believe, your pride."

Sirius' grin was wide, and Remus wanted nothing more than to knock it off of his face. He didn't rise to the bait, though—his pride had been wounded with his capture, yes, but a ruined record was nothing when compared to what else he stood to lose. He tried not to panic when he heard that word of his failure was already on its way to Walburga. He didn't know if the queen knew he had a son, but he dreaded to find out.

Remus leaned back against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest. He didn't break eye contact with Sirius as he said, "It takes more than that to break a man, Black."

Bark-like laughter filled the room, and Remus tried not to let one how much it shocked him.

"You've got fire, mate, I'll give you that. Impressive."

"Get out," Remus snapped.

The door shut loudly, and Remus was left alone in the darkness once more.

* * *

His next visitor was less welcoming, which made Remus feel a bit better—familiar territory, at last. However, he was no less intimidating than Sirius had been.

Remus raised a brow. "Your Highness," he said shortly. "I'm flattered. I never thought I'd meet someone as esteemed as James Potter."

"Funny, aren't you?" the king replied. "I only wish we'd be meeting under friendlier circumstances."

Remus leaned against the wall, trying not to convey just how nervous he was. Time was impossible to keep track of in that cell—he'd no idea how long it had been since he'd left Teddy. He itched to just explain the situation to the stoic man before him, but Remus had spent too long dealing with those in power. They were all ruthless, and his young son would only be seen as a way to manipulate him. Better he acted unaffected; then he stood a chance at escaping.

James took a small step forward, his glasses glinting in the dim light from the hallway. "I want to know why you targeted my friend. Speak quickly, or we'll both regret what happens next."

Remus frowned sharply. "I wasn't targeting him; I was fulfilling the task my employers sent me."

"And they are?"

Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius had been able to guess, so there was no reason James shouldn't know. They were only toying with him now. "His mother. But she didn't tell me who I was looking for, just a description of where I could find him."

One of James' dark eyebrows rose to meet his hairline. "I'm sorry if I don't take your words with much faith; a man who kills for a penny isn't someone I think I can trust."

Annoyance spread throughout Remus' body like fire. Oh, these Gryffindor aristocrats were just like their Slytherin counterparts. They couldn't possibly understand how excruciating it was to watch your son try to silence his growling stomach because, even at a young age, he knew there wasn't anymore food; they couldn't imagine the shame Remus felt toward himself, knowing that he would kill to save his son, but despising the man he became in the process. How could they understand? Everything they had ever wanted had always been placed in front of them.

Well, Remus didn't kill the poor. He only took the jobs that put the wicked in danger; men, to him, were bad if they did unspeakable things for a reason, but cruel if they did them for none.

"Don't presume to know me, Potter," he warned. "It won't end well."

"You're the prisoner here," James pointed out. "Speaking of, I'd like to know your name."

Remus snorted, turning away. "Then I suppose that's one thing you won't be getting."

"There must be someone who's worried about you," James pressed. "Someone we can contact."

Teddy's bright amber eyes and wide smile flashed before his eyes, and he flinched, hunching his shoulders. "Leave me."

The king sighed softly, then shut the door. Remus curled in on himself, closing his eyes. He couldn't let himself despair, but it was so hard to stay positive—he couldn't shake the feeling that this was not something he could get out of without help. It had been so, so long since Remus had last asked for help.

Teddy filled his thoughts once more.

He stood up, unable to stand the thought of his son asking about him, and began pacing. It helped him think, and calmed his nerves slightly. His feet were bare; his shoes had been taken from him upon his arrest, loaded down as they were with weapons. His armor had been stripped from him, leaving him in a thin undershirt and threadbare pants. He shivered, but ignored that discomfort; he'd been colder.

After a while, Remus' eyes adjusted to the dark. He longed for some real sunlight, to feel warmth on his skin… but in the cell there was only damp and darkness. He slid down the wall, feeling suddenly light-headed. This was a bad sign; if he felt so terrible, how was Teddy feeling?

He had to eat soon, but he didn't trust the meals the king and queen had been giving him. It wouldn't be the first time someone had tried to poison him. Every fatherly instinct was screaming at him to go to his boy, find a way to feed and protect him, but he _couldn't._ He'd never been more scared in his life.

It could have been hours or days later, but his door did open again. Remus looked up tiredly, only to see Black ruining his view.

"You're not eating," the man said sternly.

Remus turned his head to the side. "Why would I? I don't trust you."

His voice was raspy from disuse, but that didn't seem to matter. He didn't care if it was never smooth again—he wanted to hear bell-like laughter, bubbly giggles, shrieks of joy.

Here he had only silence. He wondered if Walburga had already put an end to the music he longed to hear. He shuddered.

Black entered the cell. He crouched down so he was level with Remus. "I want you to have dinner with me. I promise nothing is poisoned—I'll even eat everything before you."

Remus looked at him incredulously. "You take me as your prisoner, and now you want to have dinner with me? Are you insane?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Does it look like I'm joking? No harm will come to you tonight, I swear."

He held out his hand to Remus, who nearly refused it before he realized what leaving the cell would mean—a chance. He reached out a bony, calloused hand and grasped Sirius' strong one. The nobleman pulled him to his feet, then clamped a hand on his shoulder. Guards escorted them out, and Remus couldn't help but wince at the light.

He paid careful attention to where Sirius was leading him, looking for possible escape routes. After spending as many years as Remus had in his business, one learned very quickly to be creative when it came to fleeing. Unfortunately, the security seemed tight; without the knowledge he'd had when he came in, it would be impossible to get out. The problem was, all those schedules and shifts will surely have changed by now.

They entered a room larger than the house Remus lived in, with large ornate windows, a vaulted ceiling, and a table covered in more food than he could have imagined. His mouth watered as he took it all in, and he tried to shove down the desire with thoughts of how he could get out of the castle.

Sirius dismissed the guards, and gestured for Remus to take a seat. He walked unsteadily forwards, shaking off the other man's hand. He almost collapsed into the chair, out of breath and wincing in pain.

Sirius sat at the other end of the table, and a servant came out and began piling food onto their plates. Sirius offered to have someone test the food for him, but Remus declined; he wouldn't risk someone else's life. Besides, Sirius' meat was being cut from the same ham as his.

When they were alone, save for the guards Remus was sure were waiting outside the door, Sirius spoke.

"James says that you refuse to tell anyone your name."

Remus took a small bite of apple. The sweet juice burst across his tongue, and he nearly groaned with pleasure. "That's right."

Sirius' grey eyes were watching him closely. "Why is that?"

Remus glanced at him briefly. "Names have power, Black. You ought to know that."

"I know that names can inspire fear," Sirius insisted, "or respect. Happiness or hatred. Disgust or love. But I don't understand why you should be so frightened of revealing yours."

"Well, you see," Remus said dryly, "they can do something much more deadly—identify you. And once people know you, they can find out what will hurt you the most."

Sirius was silent for a long time. "That brings me to my next point, actually." He leaned forward, eyes boring into Remus. "My mother had enough information to send you into the very room I would be staying in that night. I'm assuming you figured out the guards' rotations, but all the same, you had a lot of information. Surely, you knew who in this place I cared most about."

Remus took a large bite of bread. "Get to the point."

"My godson slipped into the room that night," Sirius said quietly. "You were posed above me, so ready to end everything, but he came in because he was frightened. You didn't attack him; you threw down your weapon and let him leave to alert the guards. What I want to know is why."

Remus closed his eyes. He was too exhausted for this line of questioning—he couldn't come up with a convincing lie like this.

"He was by the door," he answered quietly. "The only way to stop him would have been to kill him—I couldn't move fast enough to do anything else."

"But why didn't you?"

"I'm an assassin," Remus said bluntly. "I get paid to kill the people who are hated more than anything else in the world. Normally, there are good reasons. I'll admit, I didn't have one here, but I was never asked to kill your godson. That was not what I was getting paid for."

Sirius leaned back, and when he spoke his voice was cold. "So you'd hurt anyone if someone paid you enough to do so?"

Remus bristled. "I only accept the jobs that will protect a majority of people. Yours was a special case."

"Why?" SIrius pressed.

Remus scowled. "You all think exactly alike. There are people I need to protect in my life, and if hurting someone who has done _absolutely nothing_ to improve the conditions my family lives in, then I'll do it. There are sacrifices I've made, but I wouldn't change anything."

Sirius looked taken aback. "What do you mean? James and I have worked hard to ensure the stability of this country—you have no idea how difficult it is—"

"And you are content to be ignorant, which is worse," Remus shot back angrily. "You don't see the people who are really suffering because you don't wish to. I'm trying to protect my son from people like you. I'm trying to protect him from—"

"You have a son?"

The blood drained from Remus' face. He hadn't meant to say that much—he hadn't meant to reveal anything about himself at all. He would sacrifice every ounce of dignity he had left if it would allow him to take back his words.

Sirius tapped his fingers against the table. "We can send for him, you know, even if he is in Slytherin. Don't you want to see him? How old is he?"

Remus sat in his chair straight-backed, his eyes hard. "If you are going to kill me for my crimes, then tell me now. I have no interest in waiting for you to make a decision."

Sirius was silent for a long moment. "Harry reminded you of your child, didn't he? That's why you surrendered rather than killed him."

"I don't hurt children." Remus' voice was steady, but his hands were shaking badly under the table. "No father ever could."

"One last question. Do you intend to kill me?"

Remus closed his eyes. In truth, the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. All he wanted was to get back to Teddy before Walburga could find him. "No. I don't."

It seemed insane to Remus that the other man trusted his word, even though he had spoken sincerely, but Sirius accepted this answer. He took a sip of wine and then called casually over his shoulder, "Did you hear all of that, James?"

To Remus' shock and indignation, the king of Gryffindor slid out from behind a tapestry on the far wall, his expression curious. Remus cursed himself for ever thinking that they were truly alone—that he was speaking only to Sirius.

"The man wants to know his sentence, James," Sirius said, spearing some meat with his knife and putting it in his mouth. "What say you?"

James regarded him thoughtfully. Despite himself, Remus began to hope. He posed no threat to the king's family; he just wanted to get back to his own. He had no intention of ever returning to Gryffindor, and prayed that circumstance never brought him there.

James looked him in the eye. "I don't think," he said slowly, "that I could, in good conscious, release a man who will kill for a shilling back into the world."

Remus' stomach plummeted. He opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off.

"But I won't kill him. I don't believe in that." Potter ran a hand through his hair, shooting his friend a look. "You decide, Sirius. It was your life that was in danger."

The black-haired man grinned. "I know just the thing."

* * *

"This is your room," Sirius told him with a flourish. "You'll be staying here from now on."

Remus balked. The room was well-furnished, and tasteful—he felt completely out of place.

"So you're trading out cells?" Remus asked. "That's my punishment?"

Sirius shook his head. "You'll be staying in this room, yes, but I want you to help me understand how the others in the kingdom live. I know you lived in Slytherin, but I think your insight can help benefit the less fortunate in Gryffindor."

Remus stared at him in disbelief. Then he shook his head. "I'm not telling you anything."

Sirius shrugged. "I think you'll change your mind eventually."

He left then, and Remus heard the soft _click_ of the key in the lock. He blew the hair out of his eyes in frustration. He should have taken full advantage of the dinner, he realized, but it was too late for that now. He looked around the room, then moved right over to the large window. He checked the latch; it was unlocked. He threw the window open, bitterly cold wind blowing his hair away from his face.

Remus looked down. He was at the top of a tower, the walls slick with ice and snow. He remembered from his scoping of the castle before his break in that behind this turret was the castle's main walls. He thought that, if he was careful, he could hang onto the rim of the roof and make his way above that wall and drop down.

He climbed up on the window ledge, shivering in the cold wind. It would be dangerous, he knew—the ice was a treacherous enemy. But his reward was too sweet. He couldn't allow Walburga to get her hands on Teddy, and if he told Sirius and James who his son was, they too would use him as leverage.

He jumped up and grabbed the edge of the roof.

Agonizingly slowly, he shuffled his hands along the rim, the cold numbing his fingers. He held on though, acutely aware of the distance between himself and the ground. After a short while, though, his fingers began burning from the cold. He was a strong man, but his time in captivity had left him weaker than usual. He was losing his grip.

Remus looked in despair at the distance he had left to go. He could turn back, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand to be away from his son. He hung there for a few minutes, shivering and indecisive. Finally, he came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth the risk—if he died, then Teddy surely would as well.

The snow was falling down heavily now, and Remus' arms were sore from the strain. He made his way towards the window, slower than before. He swallowed thickly. His fingertips were being rubbed raw from the ice, and pain was shooting up his arms. He suddenly found his left hand slipping and tried to get purchase on the wall, but to no avail. He scrambled to hold on, but the snow was too wet, the ice was too slippery— _and then he was falling_ —

His body slammed against the base of the turret, knocking the winds from his lungs. He looked up to see Sirius' wide grey eyes staring down at him in alarm, his strong hands wrapped around Remus'. He didn't resist when the nobleman began pulling him up; he was too shocked from his brush with death.

Sirius lifted him through the window and Remus collapsed on the ground, shivering violently. Sirius closed and locked them, then rushed over to Remus.

"Mother of—what were you _thinking?_ What could have possibly possessed you to—"

He cut himself off when he saw how Remus' teeth were chattering. "Shit, you're freezing. Here."

He unwound the scarf from his neck and wrapped it around Remus', then shrugged off his cloak and did the same. Remus took both articles gratefully, so exhausted that he didn't care where they were coming from. He slowly began to warm back up, and then the realization hit him like a blast—Sirius had just saved his life.

Before he had time to ponder this properly, Sirius spoke.

"I was on my way outside when I saw you hanging from the tower. I… You weren't even alone for two seconds! Why would you risk your life in a _blizzard_ , of all the mental—"

"I n-needed to get to Teddy," he murmured. "I couldn't l-leave him alone anymore—he doesn't know w-where I am, and n-now I'm stuck here—"

He broke off, a fresh wave of coldness washing through him. He wanted his baby back. He _needed_ to hold him in his arms.

"If you would only tell us about Teddy—about you—then we could get him to you," Sirius said impatiently. "You don't need to go dangling from the tops of towers."

"I've been dealing with your family all my life," Remus hissed icily. "I won't let you hold him over me."

Sirius looked horrified. "I would never—you're only here because we can't trust you not to sell your loyalty to someone who wishes harm to our family."

"My loyalty cannot be _bought_ ," Remus snapped, though his voice was weak. "I sell my services, not my loyalty. I haven't made any friends in this business." He sighed. "Only enemies."

He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Though he addressed Sirius, he didn't look up at him. "You don't seem to understand that I do what I do because I can't find another choice. I've seen things you haven't even dreamed of—children starving on the streets, mindless violence against the defenseless for food, and the terrible death toll winter brings. I've had to watch my son grow thinner than any little boy should ever be, and if the only way to preserve his life is to take another's, someone who turns away before they can see the pain they've wrought, then so be it. I'll take the guilt, the sleepless nights, the reputation, if only he's still breathing."

He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Sirius' grey eyes were solemn, but they were holding Remus' amber gaze well.

"I don't understand all those things," he admitted softly, "but I do understand what it feels like to love someone that much."

Remus sighed. That was all well and good, but he was so, so tired. He'd bared his soul enough for one day; he just wanted a straight answer for once. "You saved my life," he said bluntly. "What do you want in return for that?"

Sirius looked taken aback. "In return? It was the right thing to do. I… just tell me your name, so I can get your son here. I swear on my life that's all I want it for."

Remus pulled the cloak tighter around himself. Teddy could be gone already; this was his best chance at seeing him again. "Remus Lupin," he said softly, the words like poison in his mouth. "And my son, Teddy Lupin."

"Your wife…?"

Remus shook his head. "She's been dead for years. It's just the two of us."

"Oh. I'm sorry about… sorry about that."

Remus could feel a headache coming on. "Don't be. It was a long time ago."

Sirius grabbed Remus' shoulders, forcing him to look at him. "I'll get Teddy to you, I promise."

Remus' lips thinned. "Don't make promises you can't keep," he whispered. "I don't even know if… I don't know if your mother knows about him."

Sirius' eyes widened in understanding. "I'll send someone to get him right away. Where did you leave him?"

Remus told him. He'd given up any hope that he could get to his son alone; if this was the only way, then he would take it.

* * *

Over the next few days, Remus was confined to his room. He rested, mostly, and gained a little more weight. Every bite of food he consumed filled him with guilt, though—it was only the queen, Lily, who managed to convince him to eat anything at all.

Sirius spent a lot of time with him as well, questioning him about living conditions and other pressing issues. Remus answered each of them dully, never looking up from his lap. He didn't understand why Sirius was being so nice; why he didn't think he posed a threat. Remus knew, without a doubt, that he deserved to be in that cell. But whatever the reason, he was glad that he would be able to see his son without bars separating them.

He knew that the king and queen were still wary of him, which was something he completely understood. What he didn't get was why they were still helping him despite the lack of trust.

He was sitting on his bed when he heard a knock on the door. He wasn't sure why they bothered; it was always locked, and he wasn't the one with the key. He answered anyway. "Come in."

Sirius opened the door, a strange look on his face. "Remus. Can James and Lily come in as well? And Harry?"

Remus put the book he was reading down, eyeing the other man worriedly. "Yes," he said slowly. "Why?"

Instead of answering, Sirius and the royal family sidled into the room. Lily was holding her son tightly against her chest, but Remus recognized that she wasn't trying to protect Harry from him—she was nervous about something, and clutching her son like a lifeline. He'd done that enough times with Teddy.

Ice seemed to flood through his heart. What was wrong? It obviously had to do with him; was his son okay? _Had Walburga already—_

James looked him in the eye, and for the first time, the king smiled at him. This did nothing to reassure Remus; on the contrary, he was more afraid than before. He'd known so many powerful people who took pleasure in others' misery.

He scrambled to his feet. "What happened? What's wrong? Is this—this isn't—my son?"

Sirius opened the door wider, and one of the guards—Frank, Remus remembered—gently guided a little boy through the doorway. The child was hardly more than skin and bones, with drab clothes that hung off of his frame. His eyes were wide as he took in the lavish room around him, and Remus' heart stopped when those amber orbs landed on him.

Teddy pulled his hand from Frank's and ran into the room, screeching joyfully. "Daddy!"

Remus let out a dry sob, rushing over to his son and meeting him halfway, then scooped the little boy up in his arms. "Teddy!" he shouted, burying his face in his son's shoulder. "Oh, Teddy, Teddy…"

Teddy's small fists were balled in the fabric of Remus' shirt, holding onto him for all he was worth. "I missed you Daddy, when you went away."

"I know," Remus whispered, tears pricking at his eyes. "I know, love, I missed you so much…"

Teddy pressed his cold nose against Remus' neck. "Are you going to go away again, Daddy?" he asked, his voice trembling. "You didn't come back last time, and then—"

"I couldn't come back—I tried, but I couldn't Teddy, I couldn't… But I promise I won't leave you again." His arms tightened around the boy. His voice thick with conviction, he said, "I won't ever leave you again, Teddy."

Teddy was crying. "I missed you. I love you."

Remus bit his lip, but that didn't stop the tears from spilling over. "I love you too," he sobbed, collapsing backwards onto the bed. "I love you so much, Teddy. So, so much."

After a long moment, Remus pulled away slightly. He looked at his son, stunned but so, so relieved that he was back in his arms. "What happened, love?" he asked hoarsely. "You said something happened after I left."

Teddy nodded, resting his head against his father's chest. Remus ran his fingers through the brown curls absentmindedly. "A man came. He looked like him—" Teddy gestured to Sirius, whom Remus had forgotten was there. "—but different. He took me on his horse, and we rode for a long time. I was quiet, just like he told me to be," he told his father proudly. "Then we saw some more people, and they took me here."

Remus looked at Sirius questioningly. The nobleman cleared his throat.

"I was able to contact my brother," he admitted quietly. "He found Teddy, and was able to bring him to our knights."

Remus looked down at his son, startled. "Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

Teddy shook his head. "No! I was brave."

Remus let out a watery chuckle. He pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead. "I'm sure you were," he murmured. He kissed him again, and again—he wasn't sure he'd ever let go of Teddy again. All the stress and fear he'd felt for the past several weeks—and perhaps longer—seemed to have evaporated. His son was safe. Nothing else mattered.

Soon enough, Teddy fell asleep. Remus gently laid him down against the pillows, and tucked the blankets around his small form. He stood back up slowly, his hands shaking. He turned to the Potters, unsure how to express his gratitude.

"Thank you," he croaked eventually. "Whatever you need, Your Highnesses..." He put a hand on Teddy's shoulder. "Just call on me."

He looked up again and was startled to find them all staring at him openly. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, trying to ignore the way Queen Lily was crying just as much as he had and clutching her son ever closer. Sirius walked forward, placing a hand on Remus' shoulder.

"I'm glad he's here," he told him sincerely. "No kid should have to… I'm glad he's with you."

Remus nodded, still feeling overly emotional. "I am too."

They left then, until Remus was left with only James. The king inclined his head towards the boy on the bed.

"I think I… I think I understand now."

Remus' eyes widened; he hadn't thought the king would ever be able to look past the circumstances of their first meeting. "It's okay if you don't. It's not…" Remus rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not something I'm proud of."

James nodded quickly. "Yes, that's what I mean. I know that I would kill for Harry." His voice was soft, but Remus knew enough to know that he was speaking the absolute truth. "And if it was Harry or someone I had reason to hate… I think I'm beginning to understand you."

Remus drew back, anger bubbling up within him. He pushed it down, because whatever careless thing the king said, he _was_ grateful to this man. "With all due respect, Your Highness," he said a bit warily, "you could never understand me. You see, you have never been forced to decide whether to place your son over the lives of others."

James shook his head slowly. "No," he admitted. "But you misunderstand. I don't understand _you,_ Lupin. I understand your motives. And sometimes, in my opinion, that determines the real criminal."

He left the room without another word, and Remus was left to wonder what in hell _that_ was supposed to mean.

* * *

Over the next week, he and Teddy were left mostly alone. Remus was glad for it. He used the time to reconnect with his son, and for the first time in years, their fun was untainted by the knowledge that Remus would have to leave again.

Teddy quickly grew restless. Though it was a big room, someone as young as he was simply not content to be confined within the four same walls. Neither was Remus, but he was much better at coping with it than his young son. He still dreamt about the the dark cell he'd been placed in at first, and the thought of ever being forced back there again kept his lips well and sealed.

Remus did his best to entertain the young boy, but after nearly ten days of diving to save expensive oil lamps and other horribly expensive objects, he had to admit defeat.

Feeling a bit ridiculous, he knocked on the door separating him from the rest of the world, where he knew a guard was keeping watch on the other side.

"Erm—Frank Longbottom, is it? Might I have a word?"

There was the jangling of keys, and then the door opened, revealing a confused-looking Frank. "Er, I suppose so. Is something wrong?"

"No, no," Remus said breezily. "I was just wondering if I could ask you a favor."

Frank looked uncomfortable. "I'm not sure that I can—"

"I was just wondering if you could take Teddy for a walk," he cut in quickly. "He's getting a bit… restless."

There was a loud thump behind him, and Remus turned around just in time to see Teddy pick himself off the ground.

"Teddy," he said sternly, "I told you not to jump on the bed."

Teddy looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry, Daddy."

Remus shook his head fondly and turned back to Frank. "Just to give him a change of scenery?" he begged. "I just don't think it's… healthy for him to be cooped up in here. It's my punishment, not his."

Frank hesitated. "I can't leave you unguarded.

Remus blinked in surprise. "Is that the problem? I wouldn't go anywhere without Teddy. You don't have to worry about any escape attempts."

Frank gazed at him for a long moment and then relented. "All right, then. Send him here. I'll let the king know what's happening."

Remus was relieved. "Thank you very much, er…"

"Call me Frank," the guard told him, smiling.

Remus grinned. Over his shoulder he called, "Teddy, Frank's going to take you for a walk. Isn't that nice?"

The little boy came bounding over, full of grins and laughter. Remus smoothed the boy's hair out of his eyes, a little nervous about letting him out of his sight. But he trusted Frank—he was obviously well-trained in defense, and he knew Frank had a small child at home, so Teddy would be in good hands. Still, Remus was a bit hesitant.

Frank seemed to sense this. "Don't worry," he assured Remus. "I'll keep him safe."

Remus smiled tiredly. "Thank you."

He watched Teddy bounce excitedly away, then, true to his word to Frank, he shut himself in the room again. It didn't matter if someone else came to fill in for Frank; Remus would be in the same spot, doing the same thing. He hadn't done many things in his life to be proud of, but he was a man of his word.

Some minutes later, there was a quick knock at the door. Before Remus could invite whoever it was in, Sirius poked his head through the doorway, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes.

"May I come in?"

Remus nodded mutely, curious as to why Sirius had come. They hadn't seen each other since he'd been reunited with Teddy.

As if hearing his thoughts, Sirius looked around the room and asked, "Where's the kid?"

Remus returned to his book. "He's going on a walk with Frank. He was going stir-crazy."

Sirius laughed, a great, barking sound that startled Remus. "I don't blame the little guy. I can never been in the castle all day; Lily sends me out with Harry nearly every other hour. Says I'm like another child to take care of."

He smiled fondly, and Remus' eyes crinkled in amusement. Hearing Sirius talk about his godson was a lot like listening to himself talk about Teddy, he realized. It was nice to see how much the nobleman cared for his godson, especially seeing as they had no blood connection. It gave Remus hope that things could really get better. He hadn't hoped for anything in a very long time.

Sirius' laughter quieted, and he looked at Remus, almost concerned. "Are you?"

Remus blinked. "Am I what?"

"Stir-crazy."

Remus hesitated. He wasn't sure how to explain that he'd always had a problem with small, enclosed spaces, and that the large window was the only thing keeping him sane. It was a phobia born of another man's cruelty, and he'd never quite been able to get over it. The cell had been a living nightmare, and he was glad to be out of it; though some would claim that this wasn't much better.

"I prefer this to the alternative," he said honestly.

Sirius frowned. "That doesn't answer the question."

Remus shrugged, rubbing one of the pages in his book between his fingers. "It _is_ a punishment, after all," he pointed out softly. "I'm not going to complain. I got off easy, considering the crime I committed. I know that."

"The crime you _tried_ to admit," Sirius corrected. "I'm still alive, thank you."

Remus shook his head at him, amused despite himself. "I don't think that makes much of a difference."

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't see why not. I don't hold it against you."

"Well, most men do," Remus said dryly.

Sirius' grin was slow and wicked. "I'm not most men."

"No," Remus said, trying to fight the blush creeping up his neck. "You're not."

He was highly uncomfortable. He wasn't sure where these new nerves were coming from, but the way Sirius was looking at him now looked eerily like the way Nymphadora used to look at him. But Dora was dead, had wasted away from hunger one harsh winter after Teddy was born. Remus had moved on; he loved her still, but knew that he couldn't live his life grieving her. She'd have wanted him to be happy, but—

This was utterly ridiculous. No one in Sirius' position would ever look at him twice, especially not another _man_. Homosexuality wasn't uncommon in the four kingdoms (Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff in addition to Slytherin and Gryffindor), but it wasn't much heard of in the royal families. Remus had never been particularly fussed about being open about his own tastes, but the pressure to produce an heir weighed heavily on those of the court.

Remus rubbed the side of his temple. He needed to get more sleep—he was starting to see things that clearly weren't there.

Sirius looked at him concernedly. "Are you all right?"

"Just a headache," Remus lied easily. "It will pass."

Sirius, who had been kneeling beside the bed, jumped to his feet. "I'll bring you some tea," he said eagerly.

Remus stared at him. "What?"

"I'll bring you some tea," Sirius repeated, "or do you prefer coffee?"

"Er—tea is fine," Remus stammered, the price of coffee beans flashing through his mind. Tea, at least in Slytherin, was much cheaper to import.

Sirius nodded and hurried out of the room. Remus almost didn't expect him to return, but the disgraced Slytherin prince reentered the room just a few minutes later, a steaming mug in his hands.

He handed it to Remus cheerfully. "If you don't like the flavor, I can get a different one."

Remus thanked him, still a bit dazed, and gently blew on the tea to cool it. He took a tentative sip, then reeled back in surprise.

"What's wrong? You don't like it?" Sirius sounded worried. "I can get another—"

"No!" Remus said hurriedly. "No, no it's good! I was just—it's very good. Better than I'm used to, is all." He took another sip, larger this time, and savored the taste. "Thank you."

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, sure."

They sat in silence for a minute, the tea doing wonders for Remus' stiff muscles. He kept glancing at Sirius, waiting for him to speak. Sirius noticed this and asked him about it.

Remus cleared his throat. "I was just curious as to why you came."

Sirius sat beside him on the bed, flipping his hair over his shoulder elegantly. "Just wanted to pop in," he said casually.

Remus raised a brow, setting his cup down on the bedside table. "I've spent a long time learning how to read people," he informed the other man. "I know when someone's lying to me."

Sirius looked at him, almost in wonder. Remus shifted uncomfortably. "Can I ask you some questions, then?"

Remus fiddled with the hem of his undershirt. There were many other shirts to choose from—someone made sure the closet was fully stocked—but he only worn his own clothes since arriving. He'd washed them, of course, and slept while they dried, but he wasn't ready to accept anything other than food and board from the king and queen. This was an imprisonment he'd never been prepared for, and he couldn't help but feel that it was almost crueler because of its kind disguise. He'd take only what he needed from them, nothing more.

"You like your questions, don't you? Ask away, then; I couldn't refuse you anyway."

Sirius tilted his head to the side. "Why not?"

Remus laughed in disbelief. He wouldn't grovel before Sirius, but it wasn't in him to back down from the other man's status, either. He'd speak to him in the way he wanted, but he'd learned never to disobey those wealthier than he. One never bites the hand that feeds them, after all.

"You may have run from the crown of Slytherin, but you've reached a place of nearly equal importance here in Gryffindor. I know what happens to those who try."

Sirius looked indignant. "I'd never have you harmed for refusing to answer a question about yourself! It's like you think we're some sort of monsters, honestly. You only see the worst in us." He looked angry, and Remus felt like he was on his home turf. "I've only ever tried to see the best in you."

Remus turned away. He lifted up the sleeve of his shirt slightly, revealing the mess of scar tissue hidden beneath. The scars ran down his arms as well, but those were more easily written off as marks of his trade. His right shoulder was where most of the damage had been done. "If you had lived my life, then you wouldn't think any differently than me."

Remus didn't look at him, but he heard him suck in a breath. He sat completely still as soft, cool fingers gently ran along the raised ridges, trailing down to his elbow and wrist and then back up again, only to stop at the sleeve.

Remus shivered, and snapped his head around to look at the man beside him. Sirius' grey eyes were glued on the old wounds, his lips parted just a little. Remus stared at him for a long time, letting Sirius touch the jagged white lines.

"Who did this?" Sirius' voice was cold and hard, but Remus thought it absurd that the nobleman cared so much about something he'd long forgotten.

"The man who taught me my trade," Remus answered honestly. "Although, when he did this it wasn't me he was teaching a lesson—it was my father."

Sirius' hand dropped half an inch. "Your father?"

"He couldn't pay his taxes."

Sirius' eyes rose up to meet his. "How… how old—"

Remus looked away; that was one detail that didn't come easily. "Young," was all he said.

Sirius didn't respond. "Did my parents have anything to do with you becoming…"

He trailed off, but Remus answered anyway.

"Not your father. He'd died by that time. But your mother… rather liked the tax collector."

Sirius let loose a string of curses, and Remus frowned. "This doesn't have anything to do with you, Lord Black. Why should it matter why I… I still did it."

Sirius sat up straighter. "Don't call me Lord Black," he commanded. "Sirius is fine. And it matters because this clearly isn't what you wanted… and it was my family that forced you into it."

Remus stood up, wrenching himself away from Sirius. "I'm _not_ guiltless."

He could slip into a heavily-guarded house without making a sound, scale roofs without losing his footing, and slit the throats of men whose deaths would only be discovered after all traces of him had vanished. But however hard he tried, he couldn't escape the ghosts that followed him. He remembered every name, every look of terror, every droplet of blood… they all haunted his nightmares, and consumed many of his waking moments. But the more he saw these things, the more he was determined to protect his son from it. So he had continued, again and again.

He would never claim to be innocent. He thought himself the worst of all monsters. Whatever Sirius saw in him, he had to see the murderer, too.

Sirius stood up as well. "I know that. But you can be forgiven."

Remus took several steps back. "They're dead," he snapped, "by my hand. I don't deserve forgiveness for that."

"You were a victim, too," Sirius pressed. "You're no heartless criminal."

Remus had backed himself up against the wall now. "No, I don't want… There's no saving me Sirius, so _don't try…_ If that's what you all are trying to do, then stop."

Sirius was inches in front of him now, his grey eyes dark and powerful. "That's not why we're keeping you here," he said softly. "You don't need saving, Remus. You just need to realize that."

"Don't do this," Remus begged. These were the parts of his life he wanted to protect Teddy from, that he wanted to escape himself. Sirius had left his hell, but Remus' was internal; there was no running from that. "Why do you even care?"

"I saw your face when Harry came in that night," Sirius whispered. "I saw your fear. I saw you be reunited with Teddy. I saw your happiness. But you don't see what you've given to the world—"

"Too much pain," Remus interrupted, "and too much misery."

Sirius grabbed his shoulders, looking him square in the eye. "More than that. More than you can know. I see it, what you've done. James sees it—you wouldn't be here otherwise. Lily and Frank saw it, your son sees it. Your wife saw it. Now you need to."

This was the weakest Remus had ever felt. He was trembling in Sirius' grip, unable to see what Sirius wanted him too. "What I've done is not okay."

"No," Sirius agreed softly, "but I've killed people too. At least you know their names."

Remus fell silent at this. He could see that familiar guilt and self-disgust reflected in Sirius' grey eyes, and his heartbeat slowed. Maybe Sirius understood a fraction of what he was going through. Maybe there was a part of Remus that was still redeemable.

"I want to be better," he croaked. "I never wanted to end up here."

"I know," Sirius murmured. "But I'm so glad you did."

Then he leaned forward, just barely brushing his lips against Remus'. The former assassin's amber eyes widened, and his heartbeat picked back up. But before he could eve register what had happened, Sirius was sweeping out of the room, leaving Remus dazed behind him.

He was still in that spot when Frank came back with a sleeping Teddy. Remus stumbled over, taking Teddy and thanking Frank a million times. The guard seemed slightly perplexed, but he assured Remus that he would be happy to take Teddy off his hands again in the future.

When the door shut again, Remus didn't feel trapped. His heart was far above all their heads, to his annoyance, and it didn't show any sign of coming down soon.

* * *

It became routine. Every other day, Frank would take Teddy out for some fresh air for an hour or two, and Sirius would sneak in to be with Remus. The nobleman had tried to apologize at first—he'd spilled everything to James, who'd suggested that he'd misread the situation—but Remus interrupted him with a kiss of his own.

"You didn't give me a chance to answer last time," he'd said, eyebrow raised. "Now, what were you saying?"

Things quickly escalated after that.

Remus hadn't been sure, after the two had been going on for a couple of weeks, how much the king knew—until he winked at him with a giant grin on his face when he was delivering the Lupins' dinners personally.

It had been a pretty clear indicator.

Remus couldn't believe it. He was a former killer, the poorest of the poor, with a child to raise, and confined to a single room. Sirius was the former heir of Slytherin, and now the king of Gryffindor's right hand. It was laughable.

He loved it.

Could this be called a romance? He wasn't sure. When was he supposed to let Teddy know? How could this work out at all?

He paced more frequently around the room than ever.

One morning, he was in the bed, curled around Teddy protectively. The little boy's hair tickled Remus' face, his tiny chest rising and falling at regular intervals. Remus was most content in these moments; it felt as though nothing could break into the little world they'd created.

Until the scream shattered the serenity.

Remus was up like a shot, clutching Teddy to his chest and looking around wildly. As he woke up and began thinking more clearly, he realized that it wasn't at all likely that someone had come for him or Teddy—no one would ever believe James had spared an assassin. No, it was much more plausible that someone had come to complete Remus' mission.

He's tried to escape through the window once before, and had nearly fallen to his death. Teddy was squirming against his chest, and Remus knew what he had to do.

Vowing to one day repay the damage he was about to cause, he broke the leg off of the wooden bedside table, then brought it down hard on the door handle. It sprung off, the wood splintering and flying everywhere, and Remus rammed his shoulder into the door to open it the rest of the way. He looked down the corridor, then grabbed his belt from the floor by the bed, cinching it around himself and Teddy. The little boy was too frightened to make a sound, but Remus didn't have time to worry about that. He sprinted through the maze of hallways, racing to Sirius' room as though he'd lived in the castle all his life.

He might be foolish. A scream didn't mean anyone's life was in danger, but Remus had heard that sound too many times to associate it with anything other than an emergency. He'd apologize if he was wrong, but the possibility that the queen wasn't finished with her son had been a recent fear to crop up in his nightmares.

There were a few guards he passed, but he pushed past them all, too fast for them to grab. They were shouting, alerting the whole castle—Remus could have kicked them. An assassin would leave at the slightest hint of trouble.

He reached Sirius' door, the broken table leg still in his hand, the jagged end deadly. He expected to see an empty bed, an intruder, blood, anything—but there was Sirius, blinking blurrily up at him.

Ice filled Remus' stomach. He racked his memory, trying to recall something other than his panic—

A woman had screamed.

Where was Lily?

Remus turned on his heel and ran again, ignoring Sirius' shouts. That first night, Harry had come to Sirius for help with a nightmare. His room had to be nearby. No child that small would brave dark corridors for long if they'd been frightened.

He entered the nearest door, and his stomach dropped.

There was James, unmoving on the floor. Remus prayed that he was only unconscious; there didn't seem to be much blood. Beyond him was Lily, standing defiantly in front of Harry, whose green eyes were wide and watery. In front of them was a man that Remus had hoped never to see again.

"Lupin." Fenrir Greyback's hollow eyes widening with pleasure. "And here I thought you'd been beheaded."

"Get away from them," Remus commanded, trying to project a confidence he didn't feel. "You've no quarrel with them."

Greyback bared his pointed yellow teeth. "Our queen has a quarrel with the country. For hiding her son."

Remus slowed his breathing, keeping his mind blank. He unstrapped Teddy from his chest and placed the boy outside the door, then closed and barred it. No one would be getting out, and no one would be getting in. Guards were pounding on the door, and he knew he had to work quickly.

"She wants to hurt Sirius through the boy." He stepped forward, over James' body. "But there's someone more valuable to him than his godson."

He had Greyback's attention. "And who would that be, Lupin?"

Remus paused. "Me. I'm his lover."

Greyback snorted, his matted hair falling over his eyes. "Why should that make me switch targets?"

Remus allowed a wolfish grin to spread over his face. "I can give you a better fight, teacher."

Greyback grinned, and Remus knew he had accepted the challenge.

* * *

When Remus woke up, the first thing he registered was pain.

It seemed to consume every fiber of his being. But there was something he had to know—something important. He just couldn't remember what.

He managed to open his eyes.

"If you ever do that to me again," an angry voice said, "I will personally make sure you never leave your bed—guard you day and night if I have to! Do you know how scared I was? No, you don't, because you—"

"Sirius," Remus croaked. "The hell are you _talking_ about?"

The nobleman's face was chalk white, and there were dark purple smudges beneath his eyes. His hair was an absolute mess, and he smelled like he hadn't washed in days. Remus suddenly realized that he was gripping his hand.

"I'm talking about you offering yourself up to Greyback and fighting him to the death," he replied stiffly. "That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard of, and I thought I invented stupidity."

It all came flooding back; Greyback, the fight, the guards, James and Lily—

He sat up. "Is James okay? Lily and Harry? Where is G—"

"Lie down!" Sirius interrupted, grabbing Remus and easing him back into the pillows. "They're fine, you made sure of that, James was only unconscious. We managed to break down the door just as Greyback launched himself on top of—on top of—"

He broke off, and Remus was startled to see the tears in his eyes. "I thought I lost you, Remus," he whispered. "You looked so… dead."

Remus could feel his strength fading away, and he reached up with a shaky hand to cup Sirius' face. "You won't lose me," he promised. He stroked his thumb along the stubbly jaw. "You won't."

Sirius bent down to kiss, him, and Remus fell back into unconsciousness.

* * *

A year later, Remus stood in front of a mirror, staring at himself in faint horror. It certainly didn't help that Teddy was giggling at him from the bed behind him.

"You look funny, Daddy," he told him.

"Thanks," Remus said dryly.

So much had happened since Remus had saved the royal family from Walburga's evil plans. His sentence had been lifted—something he had tried to object to, but James was even more stubborn than he. Life had gone on, but Lily had made certain that the whole kingdom knew of Remus' deed. He was now preparing for one of the most important events of his life: his second wedding.

But this time, he'd be marrying a lord.

Teddy still wasn't helping.

"You know, these are the traditional wedding robes for lords and princes," he told his son sullenly. "They're not _that_ ridiculous."

Teddy just laughed harder.

There was a knock at the door, and Remus turned just in time to see James walk in, wearing his own ceremonial robes, though he wore them better than Remus.

"This is it," the king told him. "Are you ready?"

Remus snorted. "Was Lily, when she married you?"

James shrugged, amusement gleaming in his eyes as he picked up Teddy. "Probably not. If it makes you feel any better, Sirius is going mad in his room."

Remus groaned. "Don't tell me that, James. I don't want to have to pick up those pieces once the wedding's over."

James laughed. "Oh, he'll be fine after, I'm sure. It's just me who's suffering right now." He carried Teddy to the door, intending to bring him out to the pavillion where the ceremony would be held. He paused in the doorway. "Remus? Sirius will cry when he sees you."

The king left without another word, leaving Remus flushing up to the roots of his hair. He turned back to the mirror, taking in his appearance. He had filled out in the last two years, more so than ever before. He was as strong as ever, and he was sporting a healthy tan. His robes were a dark blue; Sirius' would be red; he had insisted.

Remus laughed at himself. There was no use worrying; this was to be the best day of his life.

He grinned as he left the room.

* * *

He walked up the aisle alone, towards the dias where James and Sirius were both waiting. An elated grin stretched over his face. He didn't even care that the entire kingdom was watching.

Sirius looked absolutely stunning. His dark hair was tied back in a braid, gold woven within. The small circlet representing his status gleamed on his head, but it couldn't match the brightness of his smile.

Remus was in love.

Teddy was sitting with Harry and Lily in the front row, and he waved excitedly at his father. Remus beamed and lifted a hand slightly, to return the gesture. Then he arrived next to Sirius, and the nobleman took his hand.

James walked them through the ceremony, and both said their vows with great pride and clarity. Then came time for the bonding. James took Remus' right hand and Sirius' left, pushing them together. He took a golden chord and knotted it securely around their clasped hands.

"With this chord," James said, "I bind your hearts together. Only you can break it, so always be wary of the strain you put upon it."

They promised they would be.

James picked up two goblets and poured some red wine into them. He presented them to the couple, and each man used his free hand to accept one.

"Your cup will never empty," Sirius said softly, "because I will be there to fill it."

Remus held his own goblet up. "Your wine will never spill," he promised, "because I will be there to catch it."

They were words he had spoken once before, but no less special.

James grinned at them both; Remus saw tears in his hazel eyes. "I now pronounce you wed," he declared.

They raised their goblets as one, and Remus spared one glance at Teddy before he lifted the drink to his lips.

But he dropped the cup. His body was pulled forward, towards the ground, and there were screams. Remus was left to stare into the empty grey eyes of the man he'd loved.

The man who had taken a sip just a second before him.

* * *

"I give you his lordship, Remus Lupin."

There was applause, but Remus did not smile. He was dressed head to toe in black, and it was only at James and Lily's prompting that he was even at the ceremony at all. It had been a month since Sirius' death. The wine that had been intended to poison them both had only succeeded in killing one, and for that Remus supposed he should be grateful.

The gold circlet was placed on his head, its weight nothing compared to the real burden of the title.

But bear it he would. As penance, maybe, or perhaps to show Walburga that she hadn't won after all.

He stood to face his people, his fingers touching the cold metal.

"Sirius," he murmured, "this is for you."

 **A/N: Prompts:**

 **Writing Club:**

 **Character Appreciation: 17. (trait) cold**

 **Disney Challenge: Dialogue 5. "You take me as your prisoner, and now you want to have dinner with me? Are you insane?"**

 **Cookie's Cooking Corner: 4. Snickers — Alt. Write about two things that shouldn't go together, working**

 **Book Club: Miss Lupescu — (character) Remus Lupin, (dialogue) "And you are content to be ignorant, which is worse.", (color) grey**

 **Showtime: 16. Will I — (word) dignity**

 **Amber's Attic: Songs 2. "Stan" by Eminem — Write about being obsessed with someone**

 **Count Your Buttons: Objects 2. Scarf**

 **Lyric Alley: 13. You've got your career**

 **Em's Emporium: 7. Boxing Day — (word) bought**

 **Liza's Loves: 9. Write about a widow**

 **Angel's Arcade: 7. Tobias — (dialogue) "Does it look like I'm joking?", (pairing) RemusSirius, (plot point) saving someone, (action) screaming**

 **Lo's Lowdown: Dialogue 3. "In fact, we'll be keeping your weapons, your armor, and, I believe, your pride."**

 **Bex's Basement: 17. Angsty Wolfstar**

 **Advent Calendar: Day 5: Wolfstar**


End file.
